You have my heart
And I am Yours forever
You are my strength
God of grace and power

And everything You hold in Your hand
Still You make time for me
I can't understand
Praise You God of Earth and sky
How beautiful is Your unfailing love
Unfailing love

And You never change God You remain
The Holy One
My unfailing love
Unfailing love

You are my rock
The one I hold on to
You are my song
And I sing for You

And everything You hold in Your hand
Still You make time for me
I can't understand
Praise You God of Earth and sky
How beautiful is Your unfailing love
Unfailing love

And You never change God You remain
The Holy One
My Unfailing love
Unfailing love

And everything You hold in Your hand
Still you make time for me
I can't understand
Praise You God of Earth and sky
How beautiful is Your unfailing love
Unfailing love

And You never change God You remain
The Holy One
My Unfailing love
Unfailing love

I will praise You
Praise you God of earth and sky
How beautiful is your unfailing love
Unfailing love

And You never change God You remain
The Holy One
My Unfailing love

Unfailing love

Chris Tomlin - Unfailing Love

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Today is a new year. Again, the year just flew by. So weird. I think i'll b old really fast. But does it matter? hopefully i'll just be much wiser.

My new year resolution is to do stretches at least once a week. haha. weird new year resolution, but i feel i need to maintain my body's elasticity. used to be really flexible from years of trainin but since college and till now, i've never actually done proper stretching. so i need to start pulling and stretching again. started first thing this morning, felt great! and relaxing...

ok.. for the past 365 days ago... in mid jan, i finished college.. bummed around for 2 months. started working as a freelancer at my current company for 2 months, then became a permenant junior art director till now. kinda weird how god got it planned for me. i wonder whr i got my strength from to b able to sustain till now in the cut-throat advertising world.

well, u know whr i'm going... my Lord my God of course. i must admit i dont really read my bible, neither do i pray often. but i know he is with me. Unfailing Love by Chris Tomlin is the perfect song to reflect His faithfulness to me this past year.

i'm thankful to know that a visualiser in my company accepted Christ on Christmas after hearing a strong testimonial from a pastor in his girlfriend's church. and, i've been talking to him about God too. so i'm glad to be part of the 'seeding'. Praise the Lord! It made me so happy! Still, he do not know much about God's word and even the things that we cannot do as Christians. I feel i need to guide him and i pray that God will provide me the right provisions that i need to walk with my friend.

hmmm... i hope that '08 will be a year where i'll become a stronger person. people might say i am already a strong person, but no, i'm not! i fall n fail many times. i won't b prefect, but i hope i'll be able to accept mistakes and to rectify to the right path. to be a good and humble leader to my colleagues and those under my leadership.

oh, i'll be 22 this year. argkkk!

*sigh*... i wish jesus would just come back now.. it's so sad living in this world. and i love-hate working in advertising. crazy huh... well it is.. i really wish i'm still in college where all the fun were. now i hardly have time to read god's word or pray, which then makes me drift further from him, which i hate.. oh well, my head is growing bigger n bigger by the day, and it's madness... sometimes (most of the time) i feel like a failure, in everything, to God, to my colleagues, to my family, to everyone! i wish jesus would just come back now and take me away from here. i'm so useless. and i hate making decisions. but i have to! but i hate! arghhh!!!

i dont know why i'm here. it's not like i'm so creative or anything or good or anything near there... i'm stupid and i dont know what god's plans for me. and i feel tht sentence is wrong. stupid stupid hmph. people think i'm strong and am able to do things, but i'm not. i'm weak and clueless.

i wish i could show the world that jesus lives in me. but i feel i've let him down in that. sigh... i don't know how to be right for him. everyday is a routine here at work. progressed in work but never really grew in faith. which is sad... i don't know. i really don't know. what good is it to be here when i'm not pleasing the one i'm living for? and i hate it when people think it's funny to be a christian and they think that their lifestyle is so cool. i wish they would just take some time to know jesus.

oh well, gotta get back to work. lord help me this day and the rest of my 'working' days. help me to show you in me. and make me right. bless my work and all that i do. all this in your name jesus. amen.

wow. 2 months down. time flies. sometimes i wonder if i could just put my hands up and capture time for just a moment and let 'time' have its well deserved break. or simply put, a pause.

today is officially my last day as a freelancer/contract based and next week i'll be carrying the weight of a permanent staff. with the title of a junior art director (JAD). oh, it gives me the creeps thinking bout the amount of expectations of a JAD, especially for a fresh grad...

hmph, 2 months - gone. i've learned a LOT. has been crazy and definitely challenging. it feels kinda surreal actually. but above all, God has been faithful. i can never imagine life without Him. oh God, oh God, my God, all i need is You and You've been awesome to me, helping me, guiding me, and keeping me strong. i don't know how to explain how i feel, it's just good to know i have someOne who has been faithful from the beginning and has never forsaken me.

the journey has been tough. coming out with ideas is a really hard thing to do!! but somehow i've survived 2 months, even winning a pitch with my team, and, to b offered a permanent placement..? well i guess i've been alright. today not only marks the last day of me bein a freelancer but it is also my first day speaking in front of the 'big guys' from the agency; the creative directors of other teams and my fellow colleagues. (they have this lil discussion every friday for every/any creatives to present their ideas). oh boy, how nervous was i!! but somehow i managed to be the kind of presenter tht captures ppl's attention haha.. i know God made me different in that sense. i know i am able to do quite a fair job in presentations and stuff like that, even since school and college days, i knew i stood out as a presenter, or how my creative director (CD) puts it, i speak in a firm voice and am very animatic (yes, i move my hands a lot and use a lot of face expressions haha). so i'm truly grateful on how He've gifted me. and FYI, i had a short prayer before my turn, so yay! haha.. prayer always works. i'm glad that my CD is happy with my performance for my first presentation, and i hope i will not dissapoint him anytime in the future! haa

i remember tellin God about my wish of speaking to someone about Him. and yes, i did!!!! hahahaha so happy.. it was to my colleague, the other art director in my team. well he's still confused about all the religions in this world, well he says he wanna know more about other religions to make his final decision. kinda funny isn't it, well it is for me. but i guess i understand why he wants to know first before deciding. afterall, i am not the one to 'convert' him or anything, it is God who grows a person, i'm just gonna water the seed haha...it felt good that day having the chance to speak to a non-christian about God, what He've done for me, how it feels like to be saved. I hope he'll understand what i told him. God please give him the wisdom to know the right from wrong and to make the right decision.

anw, i've been reading the book of 1 corinthians lately... hehee Paul's so funny. i like his tone/manner of voice. he sounds like a modern person talking to me and he have a sense of humour to boot! i find myself smiling whilst reading my bible. lol

well, thank u God for blessing me. for showing me the way (tho i'm still kinda blank about a lot of things! haha).. U seem to just lead the way for me, coz i find myself in situations where things just fall unto my lap, and i'm grateful for the plans that has carved its way thus far. i know U are the maker and creator of all things, even the things of my life. You've been faithful. I'm forever grateful. Can't wait to see You. in Jesus' name.. Amen!

well okay.. the own business thingy gotta be on hold for now.

yesterday, while on my way to meet my friends, my creative director (CD) from my internship company called me. he asked if i'd like to freelance there for a month and perhaps a chance of a permanent placement after. well, i agreed. so he told me to drop by the office on that day itself. i was quite hesitant coz i was s'posed to meet my pals and i don't wanna rush from place to place. when i met my frens and told them i've to make a stop at the office to get briefed they were really cool about it and even came along with me (they waited at the front office area). the funny thing was, as soon as i reached, my CD briefed me right away and even wanted me to start work there and then. i was like what?!! haha coz i thought i was to just be briefed about the work. and my frens were waiting for me! but finally we agreed on lettin me work from home at the moment and i'll ally with my art director thru online messaging. so yay i get to hang out with my frens heheee...

the weird thing was my CD and AD were worried if i dont understand the whole situation. u know, a freshie is gonna start workin in an international ad agency and she's got that happy go yippie attitude and all haha.. well, hey, i know what i am getting myself into. my cd made it clear tht there will b no more intern treatment, and full staff work to come. in my mind i was already prepared, i never wanted to be treated like an intern and never would i want that to continue when i finally work. so what he was saying sounded to me as a reminder coz it has always been on my mind that i am ready, full armour on and all. well, the way he said sounded like tht one month is like a probation for me. well he knows i can do the work of an art director (during my internship) though imma freshie, but i guess he wants to see if i still have it in me. so yeh i'm cool for that, just gotta prove to him that.

but last night i was kinda scared haha.. so i talked to God. It was kinda weird, i felt He was talking to me. But it sounded like me talkin to me too. so i don't know who it was hahaa.. sounds scary but i didnt feel scared lol. well it was in my head so i'm not sure. basically 'the voice' said i am an ambassador for God. that whateva i do i do it in the name of god and that they are to be pleasing in his sight. to not worry, but to trust him and that he is always with me. then the verse from 2nd timothy popped in my head about to fight the good fight, finish the race and to keep my faith. i am ought to be a warrior for christ. it was an awesome feeling. i felt so high hahaa.. God is my drugs, oh reminds me of Skillet's song Better than Drugs haha.. So marvelous the way He touches me and speaks to me. it's like i didnt prayed long to Him yet to explain how scared i felt, but all that was said to me instantly. He knew how i felt.

and so now i know this is it. i am really gonna enter the real crazy, hectic, unpredictable world of advertising, but my God, wants me here. And i'm gonna fight this right. help me to retain my virtues Lord as i step in to this industry. You know where i'll be heading and i know U'll be there along the way. Remind me that my goal is You. I'll meet You at the end of this race. Amen! Jesus You rock!!

*does the funky chicken dance*

i've not sent my CV to any company yet. i dont know, just the idea doesn't fit right in my head. i have an entrepreneur-ly mind or somethin. currently, am selling t-shirt designs, the ones i did for my final campaign and some new ones. been gettin special orders too which is kinda cool. anw i'm tryin to venture into graphic fashion. don't know if that make sense haha. it's basically my term for sayin wearable fashion with artistic graphics. something like what i've done for my current tshirt designs but i wanna try goin beyond t-shirts, maybe skirts, tops, pants, skarfs, bandanna, etc. it may take a long time to get there but the idea of it excites me hehe. it won't be high fashion tho, just comfortable wearable clothes. however, i'm not sure how to start this bizz, i've no sources. but i kinda read that we can source out by gettin fashion buyers. i think that would be cool, coz they will buy my work (means i will have money) and i can start production for the amount they wan per item. or mayb i should start writing to national dailies and highlight my graphic fashion. haha. that'll be cool. my work can be an e-business thingy anw. i hope to still be young if all this do happen, i know that means doin it fast, startin early. i might have high hopes, but it would really rock if i can be the youngest person to start this trend in malaysia. haha. but it's scary. i always have a weird feelin in my tummy when i think bout goin far, coz i will start thinkin bout competition from existing fashion brands n stuff. argh. i dont know. scary. God please help me, i don't know wat to do. so clueless and scared.